Do You Have An H.C.G.T.T.P.???

The following came straight from the gold tag attached to the toothpicks inside this box that I picked up at a yardsale over the weekend.  I thought its witty content warranted a post and I hope you find it as sweetly humorous as I did!

The 

H.C.G.T.T.P.

Its Care

and

Social

Significance

Lucky you!  You have now arrived!  And, with your G.C.G.T.T.P.* most ** of your troubles are over.  No more will you worry when a bone lodges between your incisor and molar while you are dining on oxhead stew and a horn wedges itself between the gap of your two front teeth.  You'll just reach for your H.C.G.T.T.P.*!  No more will you pick your teeth with you finger or sneak out one of the old-fashioned, plebeian toothpicks.  Your friends will envy you as you raise this hand-carved beauty to you bicuspids, use it freely and unashamed.  Now you can pick your teeth and be a social success at each swipe at your dainty dentures.  Even if you swallow the little gem, just chain it out with the dainty little gold-plated chain.  Hand carved out of Wango Wango trees by the natives of El Tiredo Woodchoppo Province of far away Portugal.

*Hand Carved Golt Tipped Toothpick.

**except income taxes, your wife (or husband), someone else's wife (or husband).

And yes, I will be adding this piece of vintage charm to my Etsy store this week!

For this fun post, I'm linking to Making The World Cuter Monday!

xoxo,

Kim