The following came straight from the gold tag attached to the toothpicks inside this box that I picked up at a yardsale over the weekend. I thought its witty content warranted a post and I hope you find it as sweetly humorous as I did!
Lucky you! You have now arrived! And, with your G.C.G.T.T.P.* most ** of your troubles are over. No more will you worry when a bone lodges between your incisor and molar while you are dining on oxhead stew and a horn wedges itself between the gap of your two front teeth. You'll just reach for your H.C.G.T.T.P.*! No more will you pick your teeth with you finger or sneak out one of the old-fashioned, plebeian toothpicks. Your friends will envy you as you raise this hand-carved beauty to you bicuspids, use it freely and unashamed. Now you can pick your teeth and be a social success at each swipe at your dainty dentures. Even if you swallow the little gem, just chain it out with the dainty little gold-plated chain. Hand carved out of Wango Wango trees by the natives of El Tiredo Woodchoppo Province of far away Portugal.
*Hand Carved Golt Tipped Toothpick.
**except income taxes, your wife (or husband), someone else's wife (or husband).
And yes, I will be adding this piece of vintage charm to my Etsy store this week!
For this fun post, I'm linking to Making The World Cuter Monday!