I woke up this morning feeling like crap - a bad cold, aches and pains, fatigue - and all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed for the rest of the day. Once reality bore its ugly face and I realized that pop tarts don't count as a nutritious lunch in school these days I slapped on some clothes and zipped off to Walmart to replenish my pantry. Of course it's pouring freezing cold rain at this point and I have no coat. So I ran into Ross and found a perfectly good, perfectly priced Liz Claiborne coat for $36.99. Things were starting to look up. But not for long. I rushed home with my groceries, realizing half way home I forgot several things on my list. So now I have everything I need to make an awesome dinner, except for ONE stinkin ingredient!
Looked up at the clock and had an hour to go before the kids get home, so I rush to a friend's house to give some decorating advice. That was actually the best part of my day! Thanks Mrs. M! I got home just in time to get the kids off the bus and have a kitchen full of groceries still to be put away. Still cold and rainy, I grab a bag of trash to put out back and fall down the patio steps into a huge puddle. I hold back the tears just long enough to wash some dishes and cut my finger on the blender - OUCH!
Cue the meltdown.
It was a typical meltdown. The perfect blend of self-pity and helplessness with a teaspoon of melodrama. My makeup was almost completely gone by the time my girls came upstairs looking for me. Amy needed help with her homework and not knowing where I was she asked her big sister for help. This is where the fit of tears turned into a fit of laughter. I heard the conversation, but not wanting to be found in my current state, I just listened as Amy said, "Mallory, what's bigger, South America or the suhvet onion?" I thought about that one for a minute and then heard her ask again when Mal said, "huh?" "What's bigger South America or the suhvet onion?" Apparently Mal had the same thought I did at this point - a vegetable we never heard of. Which led to Mal saying "What's the suhvet onion?"..................Amy was getting frustrated at this point and angrily replied, "I dunno, it's in Russia somewhere!"